Is Self-Doubt Blocking You From Achieving Success?

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

I’m on a third hot drink and, maybe, a tenth-ish biscuit, staring at my laptop pretending to be getting ready to write.

I’ve spent half a day texting my friends, browsing the infinite web, and reading random CNN news about some Nigerian-Prince type of fraud.

It’s Thursday and I was supposed to start writing on Monday.

The lines you’re reading are the first ones for today. Except… of course, for the lines of text messages I’ve pestered my friends with.

Feeling like such an imposter… Do I really think I can do this? Can I just switch my career path like this to become a blogger or a podcaster? Am I a cliché? Isn’t everyone a blogger these days?

It certainly feels that way.

But is that so bad? I’ve learnt so much from online content creators and I’m grateful for the knowledge and the opinions they’ve shared. Maybe, if everyone spoke up, we would build more trust and understanding of one another? A new level of acceptance. Every person is unique, and no experience is the same, so there’s always something each could contribute to the world, am I right?

I decided to write all this as a little experiment, an uncensored stream of consciousness. Just putting it all out. No filter.

I’ve read so many self-help articles and books and sometimes I think I should be writing something that is aimed at helping others. Those bullet-point type of lists of ‘how to be productive’, ‘how to achieve anything you want’, ‘these are the simple steps to action’ and, perhaps, a good sequence to this: ‘how many people do not follow through, and here’s why you’re one of them…’.

We’ve all been there, we’ve read books, watched inspirational TED talks, worshipped Tim Ferriss… but how many of us are actually doing what scares us the most?

I decided that I needed a purpose, a motivation, an inspiration — something that would push me forward…because willpower doesn’t work.

‘According to psychological research, your willpower is like a muscle. It’s a finite resource that depletes with use.’
— Dr. Benjamin Hardy

For the last few months I:

• Took an improv “sabbatical”— after a burnout
• Spent a lot of time going for walks contemplating on life and my values
• Attended a free online seminar by a motivational speaker Tony Robbins
• Re-evaluated my life: decided I should be doing more of what brings me joy, signed up for vocal and DJing lessons
• Created my vision board and set it as a desktop background
• Turned off all notifications, downloaded the Forest app and reminded myself that all the achievers and go-getters don’t waste time checking their phone every minute

After all the visualising, priming, setting intentions, burning Palo Santo sticks — and God/Universe knows what — I still couldn’t make myself sit still, zone out and write.

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

This is when I spotted a quote that resonated with me:

‘Be brave enough to be bad at something new’

— Jon Acuff

It turned out Jon Acuff was a best-selling author and a motivational speaker. In one of his YouTube videos, he talked about how he sets alarm for 30 minutes and… writes.

That sounded easy. ‘How hard could it be to just sit down and write for 30 minutes? I can do that.’ — I thought…

…hours later I discovered myself doing anything but writing.

By the evening, I caved in.

I texted my friends and confessed about what was going on.

I told them just how difficult it was. I listed a few next steps those I knew I should be taking — because, more often than not, we already know what we should be doing.

Talking to someone about our goals and struggles can make us feel a little more at ease and a little more accountable.

I decided to think of the list that could be the bare minimum that would get me started and something I could stick to without much overthinking.

I promised to follow through on the following:

• Write at least 10 blogposts
• Record 5 podcast episodes

And see what happens next.

Now that it was measurable, it didn’t feel that scary anymore.

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

I remember watching Tim Urban’s TED talk about an inner procrastination monkey and thinking how funny and irrational that was. But guess what? We all are procrastinators. Especially when dipping our toes into the unknown.

So here I am, writing this in the first person, not a ‘This is how it’s done’ story. Because I don’t really know how it’s done. No one does. And the hardest part isn’t knowing how. The hardest part is doing.

So, please… stop reading.

Do it.

Have You Considered Taking a Sabbatical?